How Do You Know if Your Therapist is a Good Fit for You?

Starting therapy is a big step, and finding the right therapist can make a world of difference in your journey. But how do you know if the person you’re seeing is the right fit for you? It’s not always easy to tell right away, but there are a few things to consider that can help you figure it out. Here’s what to look for to determine if your therapist is a good match for you.

1. You Feel Comfortable Talking to Them

This one’s pretty basic, but it’s crucial—do you feel like you can open up to your therapist? Therapy is about creating a safe space for you to explore your thoughts and feelings, and you should feel like you can be yourself. If you feel judged, uncomfortable, or like you have to filter yourself, that’s a sign things may not be clicking. You deserve a therapist who listens without judgment and makes you feel heard.

2. They Respect Your Pace

Therapy isn’t about rushing through things. A good therapist will work with you at your own pace, respecting your boundaries and comfort level. If they’re pushing you to open up about things you’re not ready to talk about or moving too fast, that can feel overwhelming. On the other hand, if they seem like they’re waiting for you to say something but aren’t guiding the conversation when needed, that can be frustrating too. A great therapist strikes the balance of being patient while still gently encouraging progress.

3. You Feel Understood

It’s important that your therapist gets you, or at least makes an effort to. They should be actively listening, reflecting what you’re saying, and showing empathy toward your experience. If you leave a session feeling like your therapist doesn’t quite understand where you’re coming from or what you’re dealing with, it could be a sign that the fit isn’t quite right. You want someone who can really grasp your situation and work with you to find solutions.

4. They Offer a Clear Approach

While every therapist has their unique style, it’s important that you understand the approach they’re using and that it resonates with you. Are they working in a way that feels helpful? Do they provide you with concrete tools or coping strategies that fit your needs? If the approach feels unclear, or if you’re not sure what the plan is, you might want to ask them to clarify their methods. Therapy should feel like a partnership, with both of you working together toward your goals.

5. You Feel Safe to Challenge Them (and Yourself)

A good therapist won’t always tell you what you want to hear. They should challenge your thinking at times and help you see things from a new perspective. However, you should also feel safe to challenge them back if something doesn’t feel right or you disagree. Therapy is about a collaborative relationship, where both of you can express your thoughts openly and respectfully. If you’re feeling uncomfortable with how they’re pushing you or how they’re interacting with you, that’s a red flag.

6. You Trust Them

Trust is the foundation of any good therapeutic relationship. Do you feel like you can trust your therapist to keep things confidential and act in your best interest? If you don’t feel comfortable being vulnerable or trusting them with your thoughts and feelings, that’s a big sign that the relationship may not be where it needs to be.

7. You Feel Empowered

Therapy isn’t about relying on someone else to fix you. It’s about building the skills to help you navigate life on your own. After working with a good therapist, you should feel empowered to make decisions, take action, and feel more confident in your ability to handle challenges.

So, What Now?

If you’ve been seeing your therapist for a little while and feel like it’s just not the right fit, that’s okay! It’s totally normal to need a change. You deserve to work with someone who feels right for you. If you’re unsure, having an open conversation with your therapist about how you’re feeling can help. They may be able to adjust their approach or help you find a better match.

Therapy is a deeply personal experience, and finding the right person can make all the difference in your healing journey. Trust yourself to know what feels right for you, and don’t be afraid to make a change if you need to.

Disclaimer: This post is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. If you’re unsure about your therapy experience, consider having an open conversation with your therapist or seeking a second opinion.